Her advice? Online dating.
Me: What does online dating have to do with anything?
Carla: Everything. Do you know how much material there is in those websites?
Me: But the dudes in there are mostly weird and stuff, no?
Carla: Exactly my point. Just sign up for a few, chat it up with some guys, and in two weeks you'll have enough juice to make a blender of books.
I apprehensively made my foray into online dating (yet again) last night in the hunt for "book juice." It was almost bedtime and I was just browsing profiles and laughing a little at the guy who wrote, "You are really beautiful and hott and gorgeous you are."
Um... I guess "I are" if makeup is applied adequately and I brush my hair. Anyhow, I was about to go to sleep when I get a notification stating I have a message from "CubanBarber." Just from the screen name I already knew this wasn't going to go anywhere, but as I looked at his main picture of him boxing I was all, Hmhmm, I know this guy from somewhere. I began to browse through his pics and what am I hit with on the third? This shit:
And you know... it really would not have been a big deal that a guy on a dating website who's twenty-six and a barber and from Miami and whose interests are "my bike, haircuts, casual sex, and my dick" to have a naked picture of himself with a hat over his junk. At the end of the day, I hear girls are into that sort of stuff and 1/10 times it works. What is weird, is that this gentleman, is the same precise gentleman who texted me a picture of his penis on my last post after I declined his breakfast invitations. Which only leads me to the following things I already mostly knew:
- There are no available men in this town and I'll have better luck in Alaska mating with a polar bear.
- Thank Lord Jesus I didn't go have pancakes with this psychotic exhibitionist.
- Carla was totally right about online dating.