Red Means Go: I Am Seriously The Worst At Being A Human Being But Way Closer to Being a Cat Than Most People.

Wednesday

I Am Seriously The Worst At Being A Human Being But Way Closer to Being a Cat Than Most People.

I'm not even going to say how fucking crazy work is. Or how this post will probably take me like five hours to type as a result of my lunacy. I have resolved to blog once a week so that's good news, right?

Today is my friend Janet's birthday and I tried to find a birthday card for her in my house after leaving work late and cleaning some vomit I spotted on the living room floor but instead just found like fifty Christmas cards.

On that note, at least I got her some kick ass earrings that I stuffed inside the card once this whole thing was over because really who the fuck wraps gifts anymore and I sort of hope she's not reading this because I'm late to her party.

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I was sitting in my office last week when my co-worker Glenn walks in and casually says, "Dude, when are you doing your nails? You look like a little boy."

So maybe it's true that once political season started I chopped off my nails because typing is really hard and being beautiful is painful and seriously not pragmatic so I said Fuck that noise and I'm going to sport these tiny little nails until the election!

Yesterday I sent Glenn a message that I figured would make him happy.

Me: What do you think of the cat nail trend? (picture attached)

Him: Horrifying.

Me: Really? I think it's kinda sexy. I'm getting it tonight.

Him: We said not until the election. You can't type with those shits. It's called cat nails because THEY ARE NOT HUMAN.

Me: Meaow? :::: In a dejected kitty sort of way ::::: You suck.

Him: Just think after the election you can get your cat nails and this too:
http://classymishmash.blogspot.com/2008/09/cat-man-man-who-underwent-surgery-to.html

Today I texted him.

I'd like to point out that although not practical, my cat nails are great for clawing someone's face off whenever I'm PMS'ing and drinking Monster energy drink. Also for scraping dried dog poop off the floor when you run out of plastic knives but I'm not speaking from personal experience or anything.

7 comments:

steph gas said...: i haven't jumped on that nail bandwagon yet. mostly because my nails always break off and are short and shitty. damn it.; October 10, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Yvonne said...: I don't care what your friend says, I love the claw look on you! ha!; October 11, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Jeff Evans said...: I'm sure your friend appreciates the handwritten card much better than a preprinted one anyway. I know I would. If she read it after getting her gift out of it--which is something I may or may not do. Anyway, love the nails, Gorgeous!; October 11, 2012 at 6:42 AM
Amber said...: Hey, being resolved to blogo nce a week is definately a good thing...seeing I can't manage to do the once a week thing for longer than say...a week?

PS: I think your nails look sweet! Although I say I "think" they do because the picture was so small that it looked like I was looking at them from the moon! Haha....; October 11, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Annah said...: Steph: Theyre not practical. But oh well... I love them.

Yvonne and Jeff: Meaow meaow meaow. That's thank you in cat speak.

Amber: Your comment made me crack up. You'll be seeing more of them.; October 11, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Althea said...: Haha! I like your nails, wish I could have mine like that, mine keep breaking and splitting in two! :( Ah well...I can always dream...x; October 12, 2012 at 6:00 AM
Rebekah Mae said...: So I'm not crazy! I was watching Glee the other day and I was like "Why does that girl look like she has cat claws for fingernails?!"

Sadly I can't into this craze. I like for my nails to look like...well...nails. Human nails to be exact lol.; October 13, 2012 at 4:02 PM