One night in my early twenties, I left the gym on a chilly Miami night and drove home in silence while texting back and forth with my good friend Lola. As I parked the car and grabbed my purse, casually heading up the steps to my place, I heard footsteps behind me. My brain initially assumed it was a friend playing a prank on me and I did what any girl would do at the moment, scream at the top of my lungs. When the boy behind me looked down and told me to shut up, I did the complete opposite by screaming louder.
"Shut the fuck up and give me your purse," he said, the cold end of his gun grazing my left temple.
In retrospect, I realize throwing my purse at his feet wasn't the brightest of moves. In reality, the five seconds it took for him to bend down and grab it as I opened the door and ran inside possibly saved my life. It goes without saying that my level of paranoia for dark parking lots and coming home alone has heightened to places filled with anxiety and despair most people will never visit.
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My roommate Katie is my own little version of match made in heaven. She's considerate, fun, doesn't eat my food without replacing it, hates vodka (which means she won't drink mine), loves my dogs, and understands that cooking in the kitchen in only a t-shirt and underwear while jamming Spanish music is a thing of art not to be interrupted.
Like most people on earth she has one murderous little flaw: Forgetting to lock the front door. I've told her on countless occasions how imperative it is to take care of this one minute task. It's apparent my darling Katie still thinks she's living in the posh and safe neighborhood she resided in, prior to moving to Casa de Annah.
Last night at a little past midnight, I was floating in the clouds of deep sleep when distant growling in the background woke me. As I groggily adjusted my eyes to my surroundings, Bruno was sitting by the bedroom door instead of in bed with his mummy (that's me).
"What's wrong, Fatsi?" I asked, opening the door to the living area and heading towards the front door to check the lock. It didn't surprise me to not find it locked, while Katie slept soundfully in her room oblivious to the dangers that lie in the big scary world of Miami-Dade County. I decided that instead of bitching again so we don't end up shot by our drug dealing neighbors one of these days, I'd take some action and write this post.
This morning I made some signs... Like the ones Lola has for her eight year old reminding her to flush the toilet and brush her teeth before bedtime.
Front door:
Door to her room:
Inside of front door:
I'm thinking these will really get the point across. If not, it's only a matter of time before I end up floating in some Miami canal while my head drifts away in the Atlantic towards Europe and seriously it's been super nice knowing you guys.
22 comments:
That is some scary shit Annah. You need to be careful when coming and going alone. Carry Mace on your key ring? Your roomie needs to seriously pay attention to the locking of the door! It's no laughing matter. Young women are a prime target to sick fuckers in this world. Hugs!
If she does it again, you need to devise a plan to scare the living shit out of her, like a fake break-in. I find instilling fear in someone is the most effective way to get what you want.
My husband forgets to lock the door all the freking time. Drives me up the wall. I'm extra paranoid because someone tried to break in to our old house while we were sleeping luckily our dogs scared them off. We're in a nicer neighboorhood now but still sometimes criminals have cars.
I agree with CS. A fake burglar will scare her straight, but make sure she doesn't dial 911. Cops don't find it as funny as us bloggers do.
OK, that's serious shit there. Maybe you could install a slam lock? But then you'd be locking yourself outside all the damned time like I used to do when I had one of those. I hope you get her conditioned soon, Gorgeous--that's a pretty scary little flaw she's got there.
Being robbed is one of the most frightening things, but being robbed at your doorstep is even scarier. I love the signs you made for your room-mate, hopefully she'll get the hint! Does she know about your purse-snatching incident? If not, you should tell her.
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Bitches be crazy 'nuf said lol
Oh gosh that would drive me nuts!! Your mugging experience was suuuper scary :( but even without that, it would drive me ABSOLUTELY nuts. I have a habit where I immediately lock a door after I close it, so I don't think I'd be able to function.
Hola guapa! Ok that story about your mugging was scary. But what scares me more is your moron of a roommate! WTF? Who doesn't lock their doors anymore? I hope you talk some sense into her!
I had roommates like that once. I left notes for them too. Didn't work. I had to move out because the spoiled little rich girls didn't understand they weren't living behind the gates anymore, even though several apartments in our complex had had armed break ins. It was worth the extra money it took to live alone to ensure my door was always lovked and bolted. Hopefully you will have better luck than I did!
I was broken into once and it left me just a little OCD about locking up.
Took me a long time before I would even trust that hubby had locked the door without checking.
Luckily we seem to live in a safe neighbourhood these days because the kids seem pretty good at not only forgetting to lock but sometimes forgetting to even shut a door.
She needs to understand how important this is to you. The notes are a good start
Like Barb said, this is scary shit and you cannot be too careful. you should keep your keys handy and be ready to press the panic button to set your car off at least. I think the signs will do the trick for Katie. Have a happy new year and be safe, OK?
Odie
I can only imagine how scary that mugging must have been. :( Love the signs! The last one in particular made me smile.
Eugh, my boyfriend does this. He thinks its funny when i moan about it.. I don't see the humour in being robbed and murdered in my sleep..
PS. have you tried performing a staged mugging/break in to teach roomie a lesson? It could be the answer youre looking for..
honestly I probably would have pooped my pants if I had a gun to my head.
Men you guys are EVIL! lol. A lot of you have said I should devise a plan to scare her. I'm too chicken shit to do something like that. I'd be scared to give her a heart attack. Or end up laughing halfway through the whole thing.
I think that the signs will def work. She's a good sport and I love my little Katie Bee. She just needs time. In the meantime. Let's pray no one opens my door.
Holy fucking fuck! That's fucked up!
Also, if you need to drive your point home try leaving her home alone with the first season of Crimminal Minds. Bitch won't be able to sleep soundly for a week.
You. Are. Awesome. =) If I ever move to Miami, we would be a grand fit. Love your sense of humor lol =)
You're right to be concerned young one. Sadly they're are way too many scary assholes out there as you already discovered.
When I lived alone I had a gun. One night my younger brother came in unannounced and unexpected at 2am. I almost put a hole in him you could drive a mini Cooper through. I had the gun cocked when I came into the living room.
Luckily I didn't shoot him. However when I was releasing the hammer it discharged by accident and went through my bed. My best friend lived in the apartment below. I thought I'd killed her for sure.
I got rid of the gun the next day.
haha i bet she laughed at the signs...but secretly wants to kill you now.
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