Related sidenote: Katie (my roommate) is obsessed with scary movies and was watching some nonsense called Paranormal Activity 2 the night I returned from Key West as I attempted to write a post. I dismissed it as junk and laughed at her while she covered her eyes, because I'm a douchenozzle like that and enjoy seeing her suffering.
When the noise didn't stop after ten seconds, I deduced my night stand was possessed and the demon inside of it would soon come out to take my soul. I threw on a pair of pants and bolted out to Katie's room, knocking desperately on her door to wake her up. Once we returned to my room, we were faced with this (you have to watch it to understand):
We began a game of: You open it - No you open it - But why me? - I'm scared, Katie - And on and on and on...
Eventually, fueled by sleepy drunkenness and ingenuity, Katie opened the drawers to solve the mystery.
Then she found this:
Apparently, being pulled out of bed to retrieve your friend's vibrator from her nightstand is ten times as scary as any Paranormal Activity low budget film could ever be.
40 comments:
Ohh crap, this is awkward. I guess that was one of the few times you wished there was a mouse in your nightstand.
When I moved out of my parents house to start my new life in the ignore bad city I left a few things in my old room.
Some sweatpants, old journals, spare workout gear, large pink swirling pearls rabbit vibrator.
The usual.
Unfortunately my mother is a clean freak and had tidied up my old room, completely unbeknownst to me.
The next time i visited the family she decided it would be hilarious to toss it to me while I was playing video games with my brother. In the room at the time: my two brother. Their two catholic girlfriends. My father. Two kids that lived on the street and my man friend.
I could only smile and politely say "sorry momma, now that we are living in sin I'm getting railed so often I forgot I ever relied on one of these. Anyone want to borrow it?"
hahah..i saw paranormal activity 2 in the theater! scared the shit outta me! i used to look over my shoulder several times when alone for days after the movie!
n lord the vibrator sounded so nasty! poor you guys!
Hasidic: It wasn't as awkward as it was embarrassing to wake her up for such a stupid reason. And still I have no idea how it turned on by itself. Poor thing must've been feeling very neglected.
Lady: I would die. My mom would probably burn that thing and never speak of it.
lol, that is super funny. I know I would probably be super scared too, and sadly I live alone.
I won't begin to express the vitriol I have for people who get scared by movies like Paranormal Activity 2 and believe such ridiculous ghost stories.
As far as your incident goes, masturbation is a sin so you shouldn't even be in possession of such tools although I'm not surprised you own something so disgusting. You probably forgot you had it in there either as I'm sure you possess a menagerie of devices you probably use way too often in your line of work, whore.
I wouldn't be surprised if that thing was so traumatized from having been thrust into that den of filth that lives between your legs that it was trying to escape.
I sure hope you put on gloves to take care of that one! lol.
Hilarious chica!
How did it turn on, or maybe it was feeling lonely for you.
SO funny!
Wow it has a remote :D that is one retro vibrator! It must have been trying to let you know it was lonely if it started buzzing on its own :D
I have a pink seal shaped vibrator, and as I live at home and once, to my horror, noticed it had been moved. Mom had just done an extensive cleaning of my room -_- , sure felt awkward then. Thank god she never mentioned it. I hope she thinks it was a prank gift from a friend :p This is why I need to move! :D
Fekkin' hysterical!!!!
that's hilarious!
I once ran into my parents room because my touch lamp started cycling through its intensity levels in the middle of the night... turns out it was coming unplugged! LOL
http://feliciamaystevenson.blogspot.com/
Sorry, kitten...wha??
No magic bullet for HOW LONG???
Honey, I've so much to teach you.
And y'know... since I'm not dead, I can.
;-)
xxxxx
I have a ghost in my bedroom tv. Switches itself on in the middle of the night but just glows. Then just when you wake up, it turns it self off- poof.
Actually, this post has just reminded me, think my lelo could do with a recharge ;)
OK, I needed a good chuckle this morning, Gorgeous. Thanx for that! Thanx for the leprechaun, too. Living in Savannah I can appreciate that.
That was a good one Annah.
heheheheheehehee :D
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
sorry. but it was funny. your magic bullet is POSSESSED. lol
Little redhead: In a way I'm glad my mom would never speak of anything of the sort. She would either a) throw it away or b) pretend she never saw it. She's very Cuban old school that way.
B: I have missed you and needed you in my life woman! You have NO idea. Ahhh things are complete once again.
Mynx: Glad I could be of assistance
J. Franklin: Isn't my leprechaun the cutest thing in the world. An oxymoron of sorts.
Steph: It's ok. It was hilarious (in retrostpect). At the moment, no so much. TERRIFIED, dude.
maybe it was a female ghost who was just trying to get off lol you never know, those ghosts can be some freaky ass people lol
that is absolutely hysterical! What's more, I plan to use "den of filth" in a sentence every day this week. Thanks for always being entertaining, Anonymous! :D
Classic ! Nothing like a vibrator scare between girlfriends LMAO
I think my suitcase was accosted at the airport once cuz of a vibrator...
they should have their own reality show... when vibrators attack!
I have to say, I think I'm most intrigued by the fact that your vibrator is apparently so strong that it shook your nightstand and scared your dogs. Now that's some good shit right there.
hilarioussssss! i would freak out too!
Dude(tte) Don't feel bad, I've never watched friends either. But I think that's because when I tried to watch it I found I could feel my braincells slowly dying.
5 Celebs I'd sleep with?:
-Matt Damon (Happily married and with 3 kids! *sobsob*
-Joseph Gordon-Levitt( Not married as far as I know HELL YES)
-Justin Long
-Micheal Grey Gubler
-Edward Norton.
Any chance you could send that me - I would sure enjoy playing with it knowing it has been in you
Rommel: Only you would think of that. I think it might've been a mouse or a roach, with super strong powers or something.
Balanced: That was pretty funny. Sometimes I think Anonymous is funnier than me. Which can be a good or bad thing. Let's hope he/she/it never leaves me.
Scarlett: Talk about breaking the ice. Thank God this didn't happen when she just moved in. Poor girl would've been running for the hills. Then again, she reads my blog. So she knows that she lives in the house of crazy.
Chemgirl: Attack of the monster vibrators. Rarrr!
Monste: It has a very high prrrrrrrrrrrrr setting. Which I never liked, by the way.
Rebekah: I love that guy from 500 Days of Summer. BEAUTIFUL MAN.
Anonymous: Which of my friends are you? Because this is getting pretty funny.
Sounds like your vibrator was getting lonely. They're like cats. You gotta give 'em some attention every once in a while or they freak out and try to kill you.
Fuuuuudge. I mean MATTHEW Gray Gubler. Not Micheal.
I was hoping for some good smoothie recipes.
Wrong Bullet.
that's so awesome...what a great film scene that would be in a horror flick.
if i had a nickel for everytime someone found one of my vibrators...id have 3 nickels
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This is truly a classic! What a riot you are! Hugs!
I believe you both deserve an award for your bravery! Whats more scary than rescuing an unused vibrator? Actually, I can think of all kinds of things involving a vibrator but I'd just rather not get into it now :-)
Dean
http://leftcoastguy.com
Just some random internet stalker...you are way out of my league but it never hurts to have dreams.
oh wow. hahaha great post!
I knew exactly what it was when I heard the sound!! Been there… I have no roommate, but my dog was sure freaked out!
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