Against my better judgment, I finally decided to take the graduate entrance exam (GRE) even though I have no idea when I'm going to return to school for my master's and would rather wax my nipple off than go back, ever. With that said, I paid $165.00 for said exam four months ago and can't just throw money away like that so I'll be taking it on October 6th, in case famosity doesn't come knocking anytime soon (which the way things are going it shall be never).
Studying words like prevaricate and itinerant and exigent while working and juggling a million responsibilities induce stress levels of magnitudes worthy of the Richter scale. I seriously don't know how other chubsters let themselves reach the point I have, but for me it's one thing and one thing only: emotional eating. I don't know exactly where I crossed the line into obliterating my self-control for good, but as soon as that happened, I gained a gazillion pounds.
And honestly? If it were just one emotion that triggered the binge eating, then maybe I would be in the safe zone. Yet the fact remains that every emotion known to man has me staring deep into my refrigerator, looking for something to shovel down my throat.
It may very well be that I'll remain a fat ass for the rest of my life.
Or maybe one day I'll regain control of my emotions once and for all and tango with a little thing called willpower.
And honestly? If it were just one emotion that triggered the binge eating, then maybe I would be in the safe zone. Yet the fact remains that every emotion known to man has me staring deep into my refrigerator, looking for something to shovel down my throat.
Or maybe one day I'll regain control of my emotions once and for all and tango with a little thing called willpower.
At least I haven't gained any weight...
Apparently, optimism is the only feeling that doesn't make me run towards the fridge.
Apparently, optimism is the only feeling that doesn't make me run towards the fridge.
30 comments:
good for you. i think half the battle is not gaining weight...says the girl who just posted about drinking a beer on the treadmill and is currently eating macaroni salad with a glass of wine in bed while reading blogs. . .
Fresh Out of Gold Stars
I hear you, I just ate 5 cookies and a box of Cheez Its. Then almost died running my measly .25 mile because I literally couldn't do anymore, and then got my ass served from a prenatal pilates dvd. PRENATAL, Annah-- that means it's a less intense workout because it's meant for people with babies. And I have no baby yet I couldn't do half of it. And now my hips feel like they are out of their sockets. FML.
I'm so glad I'm not the only person that turns into a round pink ball when I overeat! SOLIDARITY, SISTA!
I'm so glad I'm not the only person that turns into a round pink ball when I overeat! SOLIDARITY, SISTA!
I'm the queen of emotional eating... I'm eating an Aero bar as I read this!
Hey at least you didn't gain any weight back. :D And I stress eat all of the time. I used to be really bad when I was taking French at my local college. (My french professor was horrifying, and because I usually felt like an idiot when I left I would drown my sorrows in a venti sized sugar filled drink + pastry + chic-fil-a to at least convince myself that I wasn't just eating junkfood for lunch)
Kick some ass on your GRE.
I'm a little older than you and hated school when I was younger. Now I'm in graduate school in SF and I love being back and learning. Save the wax and get your master's
I know exactly what you're talking about, there, about the emotional eating. I'm the same way. And I really need to get off my fat ass and start working on getting into some sort of shape, too, because I've been letting myself go for years and it's catching up to me. Maybe one day . . . anyways, it ain't easy, to say the least.
Out of Gold Stars: That sounds delicious. Jealous!
Sara: Sheesh... But at least you're doing *something*
Luda: The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Fatness over here.
NP: I'm taking it step by step. First up is actually passing the test with a good result, and then we'll see what happens. But I'm definitely not wasting the money and letting it go. No way, no how.
Rebekah: That sounds dreadful. And now, I'm craving freshly baked cookies. Ahhhhh :(
Chem Girl: You're too funny.
J. Franklin: At some point though you have to say stop, because life is always throwing emotional curve balls at you, and you have to stop making excuses for yourself. But it's as you said, easier said than done.
Ok, I confess, I just finished eating a huge slice of chocolate cake with a tall glass of cold milk. Um, yeah, hello fifteen pounds that I lost! Oh well, time to wear my fat girl dress. Not gonna lie, I licked the spoon, it was THAT good!
You're going to do better than awesome on the GRE!
oh emotional eating....ben and jerry get me every time...those assholes.
the itinerant is an exigent matter. and i'm not one to prevaricate. get to it sister! haha, xo
please. i have to start my big girl yoga again soon. it's for big people who can't, like, move. i'm assuming it's similar to prenatal pilates, but you know. without the babies in uteri.
Mija, otra vez, put down the bottle and pick up the pipe. Marijuana smoke has ZERO calories and it makes you more interesting and on top of your mackin' game.
Or it does me.
Speakin' of which, how you feelin' tonight sweet thang? You lookin' fly. ;-)
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
try doing HIIT. works wonders. i'm doing it & i'm about to witness these wonders.
also, you might wanna check this out http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/10/04/the-beginners-guide-to-the-paleo-diet/
I hear you with the emotional eating. I think most women can relate to that...lindt chocolates cannot be ignored.
"Cowboy up" and you've got this. The biggest word I will use is "encouragement".
Welcome to the world of ADULTS.
18# is still a good number to be down... maybe you'll become so stressed and busy that you don't have time to eat... then you'd be down like 98# ;)
Girl, I know exactly what you mean....I have a million things going on, and my willpower is gone too....except I have GAINED 10 pounds....shit....trying to regain my self worth....you rock!
I am a stress eater! On Friday we had a monsoon and water leaked through our roof, into the back of our fancy TV, on the PS3, ruined the wood entertainment stand and soaked the carpet. I ate five spoonfuls of Nutella to compensate.
Oh man...I think I'm going to have to take the GRE. I'm nervous! Did you buy a specific book, or use any online study guides? I need help!
not gaining any weight is a good thing. even if you are eating anyhting you want, that is awesome. you get to have your cake and eat it too! :)
I am surprised you have not yet shoved a cock or two down your throat, whore. <--- I don't mean that, of course, but felt compelled to read a few anonymous' minds.
Congrats to anything you overcome, and chin up on those you have yet to conquer.
Emotions are temporary. Let yourself feel them and then they are gone. Try to eat them away and they'll just get pushed down for you to deal with later. Best to deal with them when they come. It gets easier after the first few times. :0)
I am proud of you Annah. Lately I have been eating all the wrong things and have to wear what I call my fat pants but as of yesterday I am back on the right plan.
Atypical Scott: I was wondering where that was headed :( Wah wah wah.
Thanks for your support as usual. I can only pray that this ends in an awesome blog post with really revolting before and after bikini pictures.
I'd still do ya.
Seriously though, I have yet to meet a person alive who hasn't tried to ward away the stress by smothering it with cheese. Days of epic stress I just say fuck it, declare dieting bankruptcy, and try again tomorrow.
I do the same thing.. when i'm sad, mad, happy, tired, bored, excited... I EAT. I'm soo glad that I have a high metabolism, but I also wonder how long that will last.
So I havent been stalking you like i should so sorry for the half assed stalkage. I totally get how you feel. I actually started doing P90X because I took some before pictures and I was extremely appauled at how large my ass has actually gotten...Best tip. Just take some of those damn pictures and keep them up as motivation if your struggling. You cant lie to yourself when your ass is staring you in the face.
So good luck with all that!
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