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The other day a few of us went to our local pub for some nachos and beer (this was before my diet started so get off my back!) when it was time to break my seal.***Breaking the seal: The initial time you have to urinate after ingesting alcohol during your evening. Once said imaginary seal is broken, you will pee over and over again every thirty minutes until you’re fully dehydrated or home sleeping.
So Britt comes with me to the bathroom and as usual the line is from here to Morocco and we’re just chatting along and waiting our turn like good girls. There are a few girls standing around gossiping and doing their makeup, when it’s finally Britt’s turn and then mine. When I enter the stall, there’s urine all over the toilet seat, which really irks me, but what can you do? Part of ladies’ bathroom protocol. I pop a professional squat because I'm the squat master and then I exit feeling rejuvenated and satisfied and sober again. As I’m walking en route to wash my hands, I tell Britt, “I hate it when people pee and then leave urine all over the toilet seat. Seriously, what’s the issue with cleaning it?”
Suddenly, some drunk lady butts in and is all, “Well why didn’t you clean it?”
Me: Because that’s not my urine. Gross.
Her: Then you shouldn’t be complaining about it being dirty.
Me: Yes I should. It’s a little thing called “principle.” I understand that sometimes as you’re squatting things won’t always fall where they should, but if the toilet was clean before you entered the stall, it’s your responsibility to restore it to that state once you exit.
(The lady's getting worked up by this point and I’m clearly not giving a shit).
Her: But someone needs to set the example, obviously.
Me: I’ll set the example by throwing away napkins or tipping the bathroom lady, but I’m not cleaning after someone’s pee and then leaving a note saying, “Hey! I did it, now it’s your turn.”
Her: I clean up after my daughter’s pee all the time.
Me: Well, I don’t have any daughters, so I guess I’m okay with not having to clean anyone’s pee. Except maybe my dogs.
Her: You’re disgusting.
Me: And you’re obviously crazy, lady.
Britt: Woah! Time to go, now. (pulls me by the arm and leads me back to the bar).
Me: Can you believe that nutjob?!
Britt: Yes, I can.
Me: Say… You’re a mom. Would you clean up after someone else’s pee?
Britt: Hell no! ‘Sides, I always wear gloves when I clean up after my sons. Manicures are expensive and I’m grossed out easily.
Exactly.
33 comments:
I have been so busy that I have missed many of my lovely Annah's entries. Be assured that I missed you, love.~
This said, you are completely corrected about the men's loo being cleaner than the women's.
Also? That woman was off her fucking chump.
um, srsly? who cleans up someone else's pee in a club bathroom? Hasn't that bitch ever heard of Hepatitis? Or the black plague? I'm not touching anyone's pee or toilet seat. I betcha $50 she missed the bowl completely and fully left a puddle on the floor. Filthy drunken whore. (omg...I sound like anonymous....:)
May that woman forever walk into a stall with pee on the toilet seat.
I will never understand why girls restrooms are so gross and guys restrooms are always clean! Ugh.
YEah, she was definitely batshit...er, batpiss insane.
Gross!!!! That's just disgusting!!! And how the hell do you compare cleaning a strangers urine to cleaning your daughters! Que puerca!
It was probably her piss, and that's why she was so ... pissed.
For a minute I thought you were going to tell me that you took this lady out with a right hook. What an ass she was. Who fucking starts to argue over cleaning pee in a public bathroom? Do you think she cleaned it up? Gross. I'm with you on this one. Oh and thank you for the visions of this gross toilet while I was eating my lunch! Love you much!
She's full of shit. Stranger pee and daughter pee are totally different things.
If I pee on the seat, I'll clean it. But I'm also an expert squatter - usually I raise the seat with my foot and no worries there.
i'm the only woman left in the world who refuses to squat. i don't fucking care and my vajayjay isn't touching other people's DNA or whatever is on the seat. if i have to get a huge wad of toilet paper to wipe up a bit, i do it. not because i'm setting an example or whatever that ridiculous bitch said, but because I AM LAZY AND REFUSE TO SQUAT TO PEE. squatting is something you do when you're exercising, not relieving yourself.
She was a bit tipsy but not drunk enough to be forgiven for all the nonsense she was spewing. And she was seriously about to get into a fist fight with me over the damn cleaning of the toilet. It was ridiculous.
Steph: I understand. But squatting is easy! And makes your legs strong. Double winning.
She was a bit tipsy but not drunk enough to be forgiven for all the nonsense she was spewing. And she was seriously about to get into a fist fight with me over the damn cleaning of the toilet. It was ridiculous.
Steph: I understand. But squatting is easy! And makes your legs strong. Double winning.
Im betting that girl is in to "golden" showers.... just sayin.
Ha! Awesome.
obviously crazy... how the hell is it YOUR job? Glad you didn't get worked up too... staying calm makes it more fun :)
I'm with Steph Gas. It is physically impossible for me to squat and pee. Don't ask me why, but I just can't do it. I've tried.
It's not usually too bad, cleaning up after someone else's pee, so long as you put enough toilet paper between you and the mess. I don't think I've ever gotten any of it on me.
Once it's dry, I just sit down. I mean, if I had an open wound or something (ew!) I wouldn't sit on a public toilet seat anyway, but since it's just leg skin, I figure I take bigger risks than that every day...like eating in restaurants or using a public shopping cart. Meh.
Oh, and that lady was really rude. Even if I do clean up other people's pee, I would never suggest someone else do it. It's definitely a personal choice!
I hate when there's pee on the toilet in public bathrooms. I do clean it off, because I am terrified of peeing on my pants should I try to squat. But if I ever do open my bakery, I am putting a sign in the bathroom that reads "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat." My boyfriend has often commented that women's bathrooms are often dirtier than the men's. I'm not sure how he knows that, either...
I would have told her cranky ass to feel free to step inside and clean it herself.
Heh. I just love people who are waiting for someone else to set the example. Just another way of saying, "Hell, no, I'm not doing it. You are!" Sheesh.
That bitch was def the one who peed on the seat! Ugh. People who pee on the seats have NO CLASS and should be publicly scorned! Good for you for telling her off!
As my Grandmother always said, "Cover or Hover."
Firreal. What is the deal with the piss all over the toilet seats in women's restrooms? It's like an underground phenomenon that I need explained immediately.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we can all connect the dots on how you've learned about the cleanliness of men's restrooms, whore.
Gerrr that is the worst! Especially when you're someone like me who just set's down toilet paper and sits on the toilet seat. I mean really, if someone else has pissed all over it it's like a whole fucking ordeal. We first have to clean wipe up your fucking piss, (gross!) then we have to set down MORE toilet paper to sit on and then by the time we're done there's like five tons of toilet paper in the toilet and now we have to worry about it possibly clogging up the toilet. *breathes*
Seriously though, they teach this shit in Girl Scouts, you always leave a place better then you found it. So if you've pissed all over the seat, wipe it up, it's your piss, and I know YOU don't want to sit in my piss so do us all a favor and clean it up.
And then it holds up the already horribly long line because we have to clean up after you!
Ugh now I've got myself worked up lol
I wish someone would piss on her shoe and then see how she feels about cleaning up other peoples urine!!! lol
Eeew! Why didn't SHE go clean it then, if she was so "pro-random person's urine" Mujer estupida!
If it bugged her so much she should have gone and cleaned it up herself. I for one don't even go in if I see any on the seat I hold it and wait for the next one. Ewww stranger tinkle.
I'm also disturbed when I go into the ladies room and find the toilet seat up. It always makes me wonder who the hell has been in there.
Pee is better than poo fersher.
Kudos to you for standing up for Proprieties & Public (women) Restrooms! Curses on all offending pee-ers.
Stay out of our bathrooms.
LOL I just leave the stall if it looks suspect. I will wait for the one "operable" stall even if I have to pee really bad.
I don't know why women's restrooms are so nasty, it's disturbing. What's so funny is that you always hear women complaining about it, right? So who are the women that are doing their dirty deeds and then scampering off?
should have cleaned the pee and flung the pee soaked paper at her face! bam bitches!
A little more and i was gonna make the crazy biatch lick the pee of the toilet... Sucia!
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