Except possibly it's time to go on a diet...
Wednesday
I Be So Confused
It has come to my attention that search keywords and backlinks are a vital part to growing any website and so naturally I've become interested in things like SEO (search engine optimization) and pinging like they were happy places where the sun always shines and the birds don't poop on you.
I still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and most likely never will, but it makes me feel good to play an active role in the growth of my blogging vehicle.
One of the sites I've been doing my SEO training on, requests that you "pay special attention to which keywords are driving traffic to your site and how you can learn from it." This week's top three search keywords for my blog have been interesting and I've paid "special attention" as instructed.
So far I've learned nothing.
Except possibly it's time to go on a diet...
Except possibly it's time to go on a diet...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
46 comments:
Today one of the funniest the keywords that drove traffic to my site was:
beautiful conversationalists dating dinner whore
And then they found me...Nice! LOL
yes, but the true question is what keywords do you want to be found though? with blogs like ours, it's almost like the person has to already know about it. i mean, for you, what are they going to type in? "hilarious, brutally true, self-effacing blog. plus pictures." ?
with mine, all the keywords that seem like they'd work, ie "sex" etc... just get people who want to see themselves some porn. and man, will they be disappointed.
I dig that Captain Vodka fella.
I got a couple good ones over the last month. They include
"Anal sex"
"Guys shitting"
"Man crocodile sheep sex"
"I am a troll, kill me"
The most used keywords always seem to be the most unpleasant ones :D
I did one post about not being very busty, and it's my most viewed post, and I get lots of keywords about small bra, see-through bra, small breasted girls, sexy with small breasts.. sigh! :D
So I went and checked and lately I have "shaving beaver" and "Cleaning house naked" and the best "How to dribble bell peppers" The first two I will admit to mentioning but Bell Peppers???
Heh. I noticed a "How To Meet Women" website was linking to one of my blog posts a while back. I really hope someone out there isn't using me for dating tips. I can't even think of an appropriate metaphor for how bad an idea that would be.
Great as usual Annah and your subject is important for those who want a lot of attention. I really appreciate you stopping by my blog and being my "100th" follower. That was special.
Odie
I wrote a post called Pimp My Blog: Big Cock and included a picture of a giant chicken. It's been my most viewed post, and while I haven't gained very many followers I think I've made some gay men very, very angry. And horny.
why don't you move from blogger to wordpress... im talking about the wordpress.org not the wordpress.com...
My favorite 3, which have nothing to do with my actual blog:
Big dick white rappers
3 good reasons to live in a rural area
Dragonball z pictures don't my balls
Wha-what??? But, you know, any way they get to your site and stay there, I say take it.
...and that you're a drunk whore.
SEOing a humor site or blog is more difficult than others. You can't just wedge in 'humor' or 'funny site' everywhere and still make your blog look good. Point in case: I have a humor blog that revolves around funny sex stories, but the most hits are get are for "penis hook"???? and "pornstar ratings". The other day someone ended up the page searching for "lactating milfs". Not sure how that happened.
Here's my site: http://thefingerblog.com
Sleepless: All publicity is good publicity? Or so they say. LMAO
In Bed: I love you, darling. What else can we expect but the best trying to look for our blog?
Lightning's Butt: That picture is actually in the "Alcohol the the rescue" t-shirts I sell. They're hilarious. Loving the new default pic, by the way.
Lost: Those don't even make any sense :(
Anonymous: STFU.
Bagel Fairy: I wrote a post called Giant Cocks and Golden Crowns once and also put a picture of a cock (the animal). "Giant cocks" is still one of the most searched keywords of all time for my blog.
Dirty rat: I'll check it out when I get back from work. Lactating milfs? DISGUSTING. But very funny.
I checked my stats not too long ago, and found this surprise there:
"morning dog fuck"
Um. What? LOL
I get lots of alarmingly pervy search terms that lead people to my blog.
well at the very least you are still getting your name out there. what i am wondering is what kind of people actually search for those things and why?
Maybe that you need to start posting pictures of your ass taken with a wide angle lens. Give the people what they want, I guess. (I'm not trying to say that your ass requires a wide angle lens, I'm trying to say that the only way I can think of to make your ass appear fat. Work with me here.)
Also, why didn't you tell me you turned into a mermaid? I feel I should have been told.
I just had one..."Face Panty Sniffer." Well what else are you supposed to sniff panties with. Geesh.
"Elmo Rapist," is by far the creepiest search keywords.
lool cuban fatass? haha thats hilarious!!
the keywords that attract people to my blog arent half as interesting as yours lol
gah, mine are really lame. like my name. or harry potterville. or 'being hopeless losing faith'.
.....
............
which, really, kind of makes me think that people are reading my blog in the bathtub with razors. kind of a bummer, really.
oh man mine are so weird too...one of mine was like "mom sex" a"sex with braces"....
My craziest was "Paris Hilton Mudwrestles a Velociraptor." I've made it a label.
Don't think about the last one - just focus more on the vodka!!!
Those tips are more so for sites with a niche. For your blog your best bet is to use a diversity of words. Lot's of analogies and metaphors and such, that way if some weirdo types in 'the duck lamp nipple clamp" your excess of words will make it more possible for YOUR blog to come out in the results. :)
"Nipple pleasure" and "naked Javier Bardem" are staples (and I'm delighted with them).
However, today I got "sex-enema" and "sisters vagina" and I gotta tell you, I'm a little creeped out.
- B x
I say forget about nr 3, your ass doesnt come close to being fat and btw love your blog.
-> anon. Isnt it time you switched the size of your buttplug? apparantly you cant go as big as you think, without getting(and being) a huge pain in the ass
Anyone who knows you knows that you could never be angry at vodka. The sun would come up in the west before that'd happen.
I'm wondering if anyone besides my mom has ever _found_ my blog, so how do I search for these search terms? And since I wrote some pretty irate and anatomically impossible stuff about Michael Vick back in the day, I can only imagine what funny stuff might ensue.
Two things for your delightful Cuban ass to ponder today:
Did you know that today is the day that Skynet is supposed to have gone live in the Terminator universe? (I think we know the provenance of our anonymous friend - cyborgs don't have any sense of humor unless tutored by pre-Bieber-haired delinquents.)
I am very surprised that being a 'drunk whore' hasn't catapulted you into the welcoming arms of famosity much sooner than this, seeing what being one has done for the likes of Lindsay, Paris, many Real Housewives, and your favorite and mine, SNOOKI. I mean, it's practically a legitimate career choice at this point in the 21st century :)
Anyway, in case anyone is watching me type, I LOVE CYBORGS!
My key words all revolve arount raping cats. I do ONE post about Matt raping the cat and then that's what I'm known for. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear about that.
I had to double check mine. My newest stat is "How Do Boobs Feel Like"...Hm.
I'm actually glad to know I'm not the only one with odd and sexually perverted keywords.
MonsteRawr: That would be hilarious! And trust me, I don't need a wide lens. My poor ass has been expanding a bit lately due to stress. Thank God I joined a gym.
Paige: Sex with braces. LMAO. I forgot you had those. You're too cute, my darling.
Dr. Cynicism: I think you're on the right track. Fuck everything else. Yay, vodka!
D4: Those are actually really great tips. THANK YOU. I will implement those the next time I register for a pinging site.
B: I figured Bardem would be part of your keywords for sure.
Anne: Thank you, baby.
Boppie: I seriously have no idea why either... But I'm assuming it must be sooner than later that *something* will happen.
Sara: Oh honey, you have to fix that.
Two, yes I said TWO separate people were taken to my blog when they googled "labeled chicken fetus".....What does it meeean???
Oh jesus this is making me fall over with laughter...I think I better sit the fuck down.
I checked mine and they are:
Fucking my girlfriend Ivana from Italy in the parking lot (?????)
Ample bosom
Wanking with my Aunt
I be sooooo confused
I've been trying to understand the whole SEO crap for the longest. I just gave up and stuck to searching for porn ;)
I'm pretty sure those in SEO don't even understand what they're doing. It's probably why it's so confusing for all of us. Do they have a For Dummies book?
BAHAHAHA.
Damn, I feel like I say the same thing EVERY TIME I comment on your blog, but you're freaking hilarious.
keywords huh?...maybe I should look into this....fame is calling me...i know it...probably to wash it's dirty socks tho!!
also the pic for fatass...so heart-wrenching...have this cookie
I just googled "cuban fatass"...I'm on page 20 of the results and have yet to come across your page. Lots of hip-hop and she-male sites, though. Haha. I wouldn't worry too much hun.
And mine have mostly to do with cupcakes and the fact I have a Taylor Hot-ner pic on my page. Maybe if I posted more there would be more diversity. Eh...
I got "slutty blog" once.
It was the happiest day of my life.
I am completely techno-impaired, too, my darling, so I sympathize.
You're absolutely right about keywords! I had no idea how important they were until recently. I'm more strategic about how I use them now. As for backlinks, I still don't know anything about them. A little help?
Lemons: You can say whatever you want. Makes me happy I make people laugh :)
Poke the Rock: Takes cookie and eats it in four bites. Oooh chewy.
Q: I'm as lost as you are :(
I'm so glad I found your blog! I'm stopping by from a participant in the A to Z challenge's recommendation and I look forward to reading more from you.
reading the words "cuban fatass" made me swallow my gum!!! you crack me up.
***ladyvader99.blogspot.com***
For a Halloween post last year I wanted to rant about people who like to dress slutty for Halloween. To funny it up I photoshopped sexy clothes on cartoon and TV characters (among others). The traffic to that one post more than doubles all of my other posts combined. Keywords I get most often are Sexy Brady Bunch Alice, Naughty Granny Tweety Bird and Wicked Witch Monkey Love (my personal favorite).
Hilarious. To date, the number one search bringing people to my site is...
Drunk giraffe freakshow dance.
Epic Tales of. A Professional Freakshow in Heels
Freakshowinheals@blogspot.com
Post a Comment