Also? I will not fix typos. Typs are cool and spelling things right is overrateed. Just ask my current employer and the past ... I dunno... Five places I've worked at?
Last week a job agency called me and askeddd if I was intersted in an office management position and I said Do dogs drool for cheeseburgers? And she said, Okay! I started today and it turns out it's not a managametn position at all, but a "receptionist/assistant/housekeepers/do girl" position for a whopping $10.00 an hour. Because apparently that's all an educated girl who showers everyday and has a degree from a well known university and knows the difference between their, they're, and there and also two, too, and to deserves. Marvel at a conversation I had with my boss today while I felt like shit and drooled slightly on my desk despite my best efforts to look polished and educated (turns out this doesn't really matter if you have a va-jay-jay between yours legs).
Mommy dearest means well and I know it, but bills must be paid and one can't keep quitting job after job. So instead I did some drawing therapi in my Nyquil induces high and I think you'll like the masterpieces I've worked on. Without further ado here they are in no particular order:
Fuck You, Stupid Lady.
Fuck You, Vapid Women & Twilight (if you're a fan love me still).
Beautiful Redhead Riding Her Pony Into The Sun
Fuck You, Dolphin.
And the cult classic: Naked Girl Blogger With Pretty Brown Eyes And Different Shaped Breasts.
Fuck You, Dolphin.
I feel better now, guys (thanks for listening). I probably shouldn't have written this taking into account a newpspaper contacted me yesterday about my blog. So sorry for disappointing you.
p.s. Fuck work.
p.p.s. I will eventually go back to school for a Master's in English literature.
p.p.p.s. It'll probably take me ten years (Where are you, famosity?).
Update: I just threw up. This is what it looked like:
p.s. Fuck work.
p.p.s. I will eventually go back to school for a Master's in English literature.
p.p.p.s. It'll probably take me ten years (Where are you, famosity?).
Update: I just threw up. This is what it looked like:
46 comments:
Even sicker than a dog, you still manage to make me laugh! Your work here is done. Go night night now! ---Feel better soon!
Awwwww, feel better soon!!!
Makes purfekt sinse too mee, Gorgeous! Feel better soon!
Ah always those misleading job titles :/
really, you're hilarious when you're sick. I love it. (: GET WELL SOOOON.
Oh! I forgot to add, Snooky or whatever her name is should be shot just for wearing what she's wearing in that picture! There. I feel better. Carry on! :)
For a second I thought you were saying Fuck you too red heads and I was all "Hey" even though mine is totaly not natural but then I realised you were okay with the red heads and also I don't have a pony so it doesn'y apply to me any way.
I hope you feel better soon. Good luck with school. I too am returning to school and feel much trepidation.
someone needs to open a business called
if you are an educated, cool, creative, talented, unbitchy person who can spell, has manners and will show up on the regular we will fucking hire you and we also don't pay you only just enough to straddle the poverty line
inc.
!!!
seriously! why is life so unfair??? lol ;)
love love love your cute illustrations. as usual.
Feel better! Snookie, I mean Nicole, pisses me off even when I'm not sick. :)
I'm a receptionist, but I do NOT clean up after other people. I answer the phones and talk politely to people.
If you never go back to that place, then good for you!
School is more fun than work. Probably why I work in a school. Feel better!
muahahhaa nyquil is the pimps juice...as this post obviously shows...fucking love you
i used to deliberately ingest cold medicine to make myself trip balls.
I threw up the most vile smelling and tasting thing ever, each and every single time I did it.
The trip was crazy as hell. A dissociative trip in which I left my body and mind and was thrust into spiritual oblivion. It was awesome.
I hope you are feeling a little like that.
Also: My personal favorites were "fuck you dolphin" and "fuck paris hilton/twilight/whoever those other people are". You are angrier and funnier half high. You should try PCP
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
I can totally relate to this blog!!! My boss eats his fucking chicken and brown rice every single day and every single day I have to clean up his fork, the newspaper, little fucking pieces of rice that missed his mouth and whatever else he decides to leave behind as a "treat" to me. I so badly want to say....FUCK YOU...YOU ARE 40...Pick up your own shit!!! :) but....I can't.
Hope you are better soon!
P.S. Its cool to go to school forever, I'm currently on year...??? hmmmmm??? Let me think..
Should return that nyquil for being defective lol it at least let's me sleep thru half the night. I hope you feel tons better pretty lady
This is the funniest thing you've ever written - and don't be upset that it took being high on Nyquil to write it. Your inhibitions are lowered, that's all, and you're just tapping straight into your id, and apparently your id hates pointless bimbos who have reality shows for no apparent reason, and also hates being a wage slave. These are perfectly reasonable opinions, whether high or sober.
:-)
I give the missus Nyquil when I want to get writing done. It's like the liquid babysitter. She either sleeps like the dead or gives me stories like this to tell.
Yeah, I said it.
A newspaper contacted you? Congrats and good luck!
I think you should drunk blog on nyquil more often, cause that shit was hillarious.
K, Here is to you getting better quick!
*toast with more nyquil...I am on the back end of my flu and have been living off it too*
Good luck with the newspaper, the school, and the not going back to work stuff.
Annah, I'm hoping you wake up and find that the paper wants to syndicate you.
Love it, you nyquilaholic!
You are a modern-day Picasso, dammit!
Tomorrow, could you please blog while on Benadryl? I think the results would be stupendous!
Sweet post -- classic! That nyquil is dangerous, wonderful stuff. Quit that awful job -- you deserve much better.
Ahh, sweetie I hope you feel better. Whatever choices you make, make sure they are what you want. Hugs and if you see any purple people eaters, back off on the nyquil. hehe. Hugs.
"...a "receptionist/assistant/housekeepers/do girl" position for a whopping $10.00 an hour. Because apparently that's all an educated girl who showers everyday and has a degree from a well known university and knows the difference between their, they're, and there and also two, too, and to deserves."
You just told the story of my life. And, I just found out yesterday that all the other people in my position are getting paid $.50 more.
Even sick you are still awesome sweet thang. I totally loved your art today and even through your pain and suffering it made me chuckle. You will always be famous to me. We love you.
Odie
Love I feel your pain because I am going through that everyday at my job for the past 8 to 9 months. I am thinking about going back to school to not sure what just yet but I do know I need to get out of this job. Anyways I love your drawings :)
Hey, I can sympathize, girlie. I was donw with that shit for almost a week and a half.
I hope you feel better soon.
Wow. The power of the big fucking Q strikes again. I hope you feel better very, very soon. Until then, just stay high as a Qite.
Hilarious! Even in a drug induced Nyquil coma you are awesome!!!
Hope you get well SOOOOOOON!!!
p.s. Love your drawings!!
p.p.s. Think its great you're going back to school!
p.p.p.s Eeewww! to your vomit drawing... I had mental picture and it kind of grossed me out! Lol
Have I mentioned that you are one of my favourite people? Right up there with Nelson Mandela and my mom.
I went through the same thing trying to find a job that paid me enough to acutally take care of the interest on my student loan.
My solution - move your ass to Canada. We LOVE foreign degrees!!
Any Nyquil. Kay thats more of a I-Love-Nyquil thing. It knocked me out for two days and I woke up in the future. It was awesome.
Also - I will post your guest post soon!!! my whole cancer scare kinda fucked up my blogging....
Dear Lord, it's a good thing you aren't going back to work--you'd definitely get fired if this post was discovered!
I hope you feel better, and don't worry too much about being unemployed. At least you have good parents. When the right opportunity comes along, you'll know it. I guarantee you that it won't include a bitchy boss with helmet hair. :)
that was hilarious! loved it all!
Wait...where's your beloved Anonymous?
Your comments made my day. I've been in and out of sleep since I published this last night. Finally had to drag my ass out of bed to walk my dogs and feed them (yes, I suck for not feeding them last night) and now I'm going to buy more drugs and? You guessed it. Go back to sleep.
Dani: No no. No fuck you to the redheads. Nothing but love for redheads and ponies.
Boppie: All your comments were awesome last night, thanks :)
Charles: Angrier and funnier? Maybe I will try this more often. Say? tonight?
TB: No idea where Anon went. Maybe church.
Awwww poor Annah! I hope you feel better mama! Being sick sucks filthy ass! I keep a bottle of Nyquil in my medicine cabinet for when I can't sleep. Or just bored. Or just ran out of tequila...or... just whenever. That shit is addicting!
Awesome post - except, you know, for everything sucking for you right now. If drinking Nyquil helps produce posts like this then I need to get a hold of some. I've been making do with Cherry Coke and Goldfish crackers.
Annah, I am happy to share some love. I'm actually kind of jealous that you have acquired a nemesis, even if Anon. is a pretty lame name, unlike Smoking Man, or Lex Luthor, etc. But we all know nemesi (?) (nemesises just looks wrong) are so much better to struggle against than the random indifference of the universe, so maybe this is just the kick in the boobs you need to step up to 'a whole nubba lebel'! xoxo
You go girl, you tell these elitists snobs! Proud of your resilience. We are the same age, going back for my master's as well.
See you around!.
You crack my shit up! I love your pictures. Check out my blog, please? It needs help.
Great animation. I've been hitting the NyQuil myself.
And best of luck with the job search.
Whoa Whoa Whoa... why you be putting my pic up there (Calling it Naked Girl Blogger with pretty brown eyes and different sized breasts).. lmao...love it! And your vomit looks delicious... Next time share the oreos... Love ya babes...Feel better!
Yay for only making $10 an hour being a glorified receptionist! (That's totally my life.) Oh and for actually knowing the difference between there, their & they're. Your and you're are pretty big ones too. Hope you get feeling better!
http://tonitigress.blogspot.com
Everybody knows you can't mix Oreos and Nyquil. The only thing more lethal is Poprocks and Nyquil.
Britt: It's MY pic! You're not a blogger, Miss Thang. But we can call it whatever you like. HUGS.
Toni: Yes! You're and your are big for me too.
Jane: Poprocks? Now I want some.
This blog is brilliant, so I gave you an award. =)
http://phantasosplayground.blogspot.com/
Gosh It's Weir!!!!!!!!@!
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