I've been waiting all night for Jimmy Kimmel Live to see my girl crush Nicki Minaj get interviewed while I drink a cosmopolitan with Bruno. This afternoon I finished reading Water for Elephants and it was tres magnifique but then I got bored and wasn't sure what to do for the next four hours so I decided to draw this picture for Jack who loves sharks and promised to buy a t-shirt of this masterpiece if I made it in time for Christmas (you're welcome).
I'm not really good at promoting my store so I guess please buy something and keep me off the streets? That sort of sounds like I'm a prostitute but it doesn't matter because everyone thinks my blog is porn anyway. Actually, I would pee my pants if you'd purchase a Clitaurus shirt for your grandma because undoubtedly she'll be the talk of bingo and then for sure I'll be on my way to famosity...
You can buy all the Clitaurus your heart desires here.
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Nicki Minaj and a cosmopolitan are waiting for me on my couch and there's no way I can ever deny them so off I go for now.
p.s. Corey, this is post #2 of your "Forty-Nine Posts of Christmas." I'm getting there slowly but seriously can we extend this whole thing until Easter? Forty-nine posts in a month is too much and there's only so many pictures of pumpkin pie I can post before everyone unfollows me.
Update: I told my friend John the natural selection t-shirt was up.
John: Why did you draw Jesus' fish?
Me: Huh?
John: Those are Jesus' fish, babe. The Darwin fish have feet.
Me: Holy shit, I made Jesus fishies getting eaten by a shark?
John: Yup.
Me: ... Guess I'm really going to hell now.
Update Part II: I obviously do need sleep as I forgot the entire point of this post last night (it wasn't just blatant self-whoring and promotion, I promise. I'm doing a Christmas Clitaurus giveaway. So pop your name in the comment section and I'll pick the winner before December 15th. Please only enter if you have the balls, or um, clitaurus, to actually rock out the t-shirt.
49 comments:
I would love to get one of those shirts, but my parents would so disapprove and I don't have any other way of buying that. They don't like that I bought myself a shirt at Spencer's of a toaster and a piece of bread saying "I want you inside me" "That's hot."
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com
The new shirts look uh-mazing!! Maybe you can send some to Jimmy Kimmel to feature on his show and give to his guests. Pimp away my bloggy sister!
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
I'm sure having the words "porn" "pee" and "clitaurus" in the same post is going to make for some interesting google search results. I'm thinking "dinosaur fetish sex" makes an appearance
Oh my goodness this is hilarious. I have to buy one of these shirts for my Honey he will die. OH it's definitely going to be a Christmas present for my step dad and step brother too! Sign me up for tres camisetas
LOVE the tees!
i'm pretty sure my grandma would love it
she can barely see so she'd just think it was something cute
Loved Water for Elephants and the Clitausarus Rex ; )
haha how about a compromise? On my next payday (December 10th) i buy a clitaurus shirt, and you have until February? valentines day rather than easter?
P.S. this was a very, VERY satisfying post. ;)
Hmm, I love your shirts. Ship to Pakistan?
Love the tees girl and hope you sell a ton of them even though I would never survive wearing one of them in my surroundings. Your art "ROCKS".
Umm granny in a clitoris shirt...no thanks! Granny wearing a Nicki Menage shirt....priceless!
Xy: You’re the best. Yay! :) Send me pictures with the boyfriend wearing it. Lol
Corey: You got yourself a deal! But you have to send a picture of you in a clitaurus shirt. That would be ultra special. Maybe I can post it as advertisement.
Migz: I think you’re 110% right. Dayum.
Empress: Hmm that’s such a good idea. How would I go about doing that?
Alpha: No :(
Odie: Buy one for a grandkid. lol
Raquel: Nicki shirt for grandma is an awesome idea.
My husband's grandmother would totally wear that shirt. I mean, she is senile and bat shit crazy, so I could tell her it says "QVC rocks my world" and she would wear it.
Shit, I could probably tell her what it really says and she would wear it.
Hum.....
Annah...where do you come up with this funny shit? OMG, you never stop making me laugh.
MY CLITAURUS EATS YOUR DICKASAURUS FOR BREAKFAST!!! RAWR.
i must have a clitaurus shirt. must. even it's just for the fact that i'll have to explain it to everyone <3
***ladyvader99.blogspot.com***
sounds grand. anything to help a sista out ;)
I'm not sure it would be legal for me to wear your clitaurus on my shirt.
Do you use unsweetened cranberry juice in your cosmopolitans? Or do you use cranberry juice cocktail. They are sour as hell if you use plain juice. But I just drop in some sweetener.
Corey: Awesome-ness!
Fred: I use the Diet cranberry juice (semi sweet I think) and some Contreau. It's delicious (but strong as hell).
Leia: I can't wait to see you in it!
Barb: So glad to hear, babes.
I don't have the balls, but my boyfriend does and this would be the most amazeballs xmas gift ever!!! I want to win!
I need this shirt because I live in Salt Lake City Utah and i'm sick of seeing I <3 Mormon pussy shirts.
Love the Tees!! Very original lol.
On another note, am I the only one that does not like Nicki Minaj!? Hmmmm
ZOHMYFUCKINGGOD, Annah. I have never wanted to win a prize this badly in ever.
I would so rock the "I think my Clitaurus likes you" shirt, just to upset my parents! And make my daughter cringe. muahahahaha
I would totally kill for a Clitaurus shirt. Consider this my veiled threat to destroy you if I don't get one.
My husband would definitely wear a Clitaurus shirt. I think I could even get my grandma to wear one.
Oh God! I love it! Natural Selection! Please, please, please make that into a shirt! It's too great to not see in public! :)
Hannah O Rourke.
Please Can I Have The T-Shirt?I Can't Afford To Get It,'Cause I Dont Have A Credit Card :) x
I definitely have the balls to rock the shirt!!! Throw my name in that drawing! Plus my birthday is December 15...it would be an awesome present!
I laughed because your fish were Jesus fish. I know I am going to hell!
Jess
Oh that is so fantastic! Ohhh I want!! Me Me!
I would so rock that for sure.
I work on a construction site. I saw a sticker on a guys thermos ...had a pair of testicles on it crossed out & said " No Ball Licking."
Hey dont forget me. If I win I could wear it to Zumba lol
Lmfao! You blog keeps me sober! I don't have to get high off my ass to enjoy this shit! lmfao...*ponders if taking shrooms count*
hilarious tees. i so want one!!
Annah, I LOVE the shirt! I will wear it, I swear...would so love to win! :)
How about an "Is the Clitaurus Extinct?" post; Darwin could be standing there with blinders on and his hands over his ears saying "No need to lick what doesn't exist" while the little clitaurus is waving its arms and hopping up and down to get his attention "WTF? I'm right here! Look down! No... down!!"
Wow you have the biggest thingies I have ever seen!!!
(And by thingies, I mean Facebook, Twitter, and RSS graphics.)
Miss Thundercat: I do it all for that, darling. And I loved your last post.
Ckrets: Ball licking is very underrated. LOL Okay I'll bugger off now.
JustLinda: Thank you? ;)
I want the shirt! And also Water for Elephants is on my list of books to read, thanks for pushing me to read it now lol...
p.s have you downloaded Nicki Minaj's new CD yet? I'm about to listen to all of it on my roadtrip tomorrow.
I'd wear the clitaurus shirt to my family reunion on x-mas. The look on their faces = priceless !
Well, both my grandmas are dead, but I'm sure I can find *somebody* who'll dig this, if I win. I'm a XXL, btw . . .
lol, those t-shirts are awesome :0)
I would SO wear!!!
Those shirts are fabulous. Sadly I don't anyone nearly near the right age to wear one. If I did they'd lock me up before my commitment hearing!
ANNAHBANANA.
My Clitaurus needs attention and I'm broke from buying Chicken things to piss in. And I called K-Dub and he won't give me money that he owes me. I can't afford vodka AND NO ONE LOVES ME.
Clitaurus-saurus is more magical than a unicorn.
Forget the balls, I have the boobs to rock that shirt. And believe me, EVERYONE will be reading the words :) I do have the balls to convince anyone who asks that a clitasaurus is a carnivore from the late Holocene period. Which it is, ba dump dump ;)
I ain't got no clitaurus but I best be gettin' a shirt. Great idea by the way.
Your tee's are awesomely fun. Mmmm, think they would go down a treat with the girls in my pole dancing class, and if I won, I would be prepared to send a pic of the tee on the pole!
I love these shirts! They are absolutely fabulous! I would love me one of those shirts :)
I would totally rock that shirt :) Put my name in the bowl (the one w/out the Jesus fish) LOL.
LOL that's the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. Clitaurus.
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