Bubble Baths & Broken Backs

My initial intent was to post about an incident I had on Friday at the parking lot of a Walmart involving a senior citizen and my recently shaved lady parts but alas, I'm too lazy to get into that today.

When you're the only offspring to crazy Cuban parents, it inevitably means you're a slave to their every whim: usually ridiculous errands or household chores that a man should be doing but seeing I have no brothers and my father works out of town, I get to hang up frames that weigh 100 pounds while balancing a cat on one foot and a dog on the other.

Yesterday, my mom decided it'd be a good idea to make it a "shopping day" but of course this meant household esentials, groceries and other boring shit (instead of shoes, ice cream and cupcakes which let's face it, are the only things a girl truly needs to shop for in life). We arrived at the first store 'round three in the afternoon and didn't finish until about nine o'clock, when I off-loaded all the groceries, including three fifty pound bags of dog food and kitty litter at my mom's house (if you think I'm a crazy dog lady then you should really meet my mom).

At any rate, I arrived home and after feeding my dogs and deciding to forgo the Saturday night madness, I opted on doing a one woman celebration of my new place (my old roommate has moved out and my place is officially all mine, insert evil laugh here _______).

I lit candles, cranked up the Sinatra, poured some red wine and took the nicest bubble bath south of the Everglades. I was in there for two hours and when I finally decided to leave the tub a little after midnight, I felt relaxed and delicious, promptly melting onto my bed for ten hours of uninterrupted bliss (yes, I'm talking about sleep).

When I woke up this morning I expected to feel energetic, vigorous and full of life! But instead, this is what I felt like:

Somewhere in between two tons of groceries and lazy bubble baths my back decided to remind me I'm no longer a teenager and it will kick my ass whenever it feels like it. I wanted to sit in front of my computer and draw really great pictures and make you guys laugh but instead I'm hunched over with three Advils in my system attempting to write a shitty post that makes sense so you guys can forgive me and understand why I'll fail to deliver the goods tomorrow. Also, it's probably a good thing I'm bound to my couch for the rest of the day because there's been police sirens and helicopters circling my neighborhood for the past three hours, which probably means there's a killer on the loose or a new donut shop opening in my neighborhood.

Big shot out to Sinclair for letting me drink beer out of his boot on Friday night and then reading all my posts in one day and telling me "my blunt and honest approach to things is quite refreshing compared to the usual superficial Miami shit." <---- That seriously made my vodka filled heart warmer than usual.

I'm sorry my next "masterpiece" was this incoherent post, but there's always Tuesday, right?