If you've been following my madness machine for a bit then surely you know I'm cursed with random bouts of diarrhea on a regular basis. My "cagaleras" (spanish word for "the shits") are usually induced by liquor or spicy food. Taking into account I ingest either one or the other on a daily basis, it's safe to say my toilet plunger and I are tighter than me and Jesus.
As I sat there damning the day Cholula made its way into my local supermarket...
I began to think about my best friend.
So I pulled out the Blackberry and decided to shoot the breeze while I finished my little business. I knew Olivia would be happy to learn of my bathroom troubles and coax me along, as she usually texts me everytime she bombs her toilet or has a stomach ache (I mean, What are friends for if not taking each other's shit?).
I'm aware you guys didn't want to read this on a Monday morning but in life there are times we'll be forced to hear things we really don't care to know. I know, it just isn't fair.
-
Unnecessary sidenote: Miss Universe is on tonight! I'm rooting for Miss Haiti.
58 comments:
BAHAHAHAHA! Great! THIS is what will be on my mind as I go to bed! THANKS!!! :)
Cholula rules! We really missed it when we were up north on our trip. We stopped at our fav taqueria as soon as we hit Houston and used about a third of a bottle on chips while waiting for our enchiladas. I'm truly bummed though - you don't heart me? Now I know why I've never gotten that ring.
Illustrating pooping, I don't know, maybe I should change your blog button...
I FUCKING LOVE CHOLULA. Even though it eventually burns my asshole with the fire of a thousand Suns.
Holy Crap! =)
Cholula = Deliciousness!!
The texts between you & your friend are hilarious!! Somehow you even manage to make the topic of poo funny.
Happy Monday to you too!! - The Empress
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
Crapiola! Dude that post was frikken graphic!!!
Funniest blog post
EVER
EVER
I just read the comment you left on my blog. That's so funny because I recently quit my part time job and ever since I've been munching on comfort foods! And thanks for your support! By the way I wasn't grossed out by this post. It's like 4:25 am right now and I can't sleep because I kept thinking of bad shit. Then I read this and it was the funniest shit ever! Good shit... Good shit
Yeah, I'd root for miss Haiti
Darling Annah I love you but ewwwwwww.
This brings up seriously bad memeories of toilet training toddlers and all the poo talk that involved.
Annah I live for your art work girl. You certainly have a way with words and I can't wait for the next one to hit my screen. Have an awesome week.
Odie
Again, I'm jealous of your cartoons. Especially the happy faced toilet girl. That hot sauce kicks ass, especially on scrambled eggs which I am going to go eat now and try really hard not to think of Annah taking a shit. ;-)
One of my sisters has cronic IBS and she insists on telling me about it in great detail, so today's post was lite fair for me.
lol, least you were somewhere with a toilet. 45 minute train journey with only broken toilets is my average commute and that's not fun when your intestines are saying "it's too dark in here!! Get. Me. The. F***. OUT!!!"
Word to the wise, never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!! ;0)
I carry immodium with me wherever I go.
Happens to me with Hot Jaleps on pizza however that is some awesome hot sauce there.
Thanks for the compliments about the fam. and me. Also Thanks for putting me on your "sites I Heart" list.
Girlo you go (but turn on the vent and it will Help) LOL
aka Danny Boy
blogging win. you never cease to amaze me <3 if it's not your dog's shit, it's yours.
also, are those really low boobs in the first toilet illustration? or something else? because they're not in the second one... did you shit out your tits?!?!??
http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/
I'm a long-term-care worker for a lady who has four dogs and a cat. Poop doesn't bother me on a Monday morning or a Saturday night. As long as she isn't offended by my website, I'm not offended by her poop!
The Fred Effect
It's nice to be reminded-once in a great while-that other people have these problems too. ;)
Yeah, I'm not in an "un-follower" kind of mood... WAY more entertaining to see what's gonna come flying out of your head next time! LOL Too funny, Annah!
Ahh, Cholula. They should just rename that shit "Diarrhea-causing salsa". But it's so goooood.
I think my number 1 fear in life is having to poo anywhere but my own home. Again, you had me cracking up this a.m. with you're lovely poop story. You're so brave. I'm glad you know your body so well. I guess it's the chance you take to eat whatcha love. Don't worry, your poop sharing stories are totally normal. Every morning my husband and I announce our poop successes or lack there of.
You literally just wrote about shit. And I was riveted and entertained. Now I'm trying to figure out if I have low standards or if you're just that good of a writer.
Ninjery and awesomeness:
http://whatwouldninjado452.blogspot.com/
This is why you guys ultimately rock! Because you also love shit. And don't mind that I write about it. Or that the word shit was in this post at least twenty times. lol. *MUAH* Kisses
Mynx: Sorry my love :)
Darren: That would be VERY dangerous for me. End of the day, I'd still end up going in one of those broken toilets if need be.
Steph: OMG I couldn't stop cracking up when I read that. The truth is I'm still having a hard time drawing people sitting down. I can't really draw (obviously) so I thought those two little lines would make it more believable, but instead it just looks like really droopy boobs. OMG that's horrible. So I erased it for the second pic but forgot to do it for the first. Ahhhh, at least it made you laugh (and me in return).
Ninja Mike: Low standards. Definitely. I still heart you.
That is why I stay away from the hot sauce lol!
the only thing that creeps me out about taking shits...is when you work your ass off to get it all out of you...but when you get up to look...IT'S GONE! You at least wanna see what gave you hell you know...GHOST POOP!
I'm utterly incapable of going to the bathroom without my phone. Even during a little pee action, I can use the sit down time to check my email. We're so productive. You should put this on your resume as proof of ability to multi task.
Try digestive enzymes from the heath food store. They might help.
THANK YOU for making me laugh, seriously, you have no idea but finding this blog just made my day =)
I've signed you up for the next Kaopectate convention in Acapulco!
oh my god, you are hilarious!
so you're in miami, huh? any 'jersey shore' sightings? i gotta know...
that show is so dumb that it's awesome!
My Dear its not Cagaleras.. id CAGADERAS!!! with a D! hahahahahha ohhh dear.. this kid is giving me the shits all the time! :)
I beg to differ: There's nothing better on a Monday morning than a shit story. Those fucking sphincters never seem to listen, do they? It's most likely ADD.
I had a three-way stall shitting experience in an airport once when two of my friends and I were all next to each other in respective stalls. That was more farting and laughing in a five-minute time span than I could handle. The best thing about laughing on the toilet is that it's okay to shit from the laughter.
haha this is funnnnyyy!!!
u should follow my blog!
brittany-hs-years.blogspot.com
you are effin highlarious-shit n all!
Four to Score: No Jersey Shore sightings unfortunately. But I honestly think that show is hilarious. The fact that they're so serious in their idiocy makes it too funny to bear. LOVE IT
Celeste: No booboo. For us Cubans it's "cagaleras". Example: Tengo unas tremendas cagaleras. Translation: I have the tremendous shits. lol
Danaconda: Damn, talk about "sharing the pain"
Whoa, whoa, whoa freakin' whoa. Hang on. Am I to assume this post is all bullshit? It has been my belief for a hell of a long time (going back to what my high school girlfriend told me) that Girls Don't Poop.
Now, either this post is one big funny joke or my whole life has been a lie. Well, at least the girls & pooping part. What's next.. are you going to tell me the Tooth Fairy really doesn't pee in the corner of your bedroom when you forget to put the toilet seat down??
SD
http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/
haha ommmmmmggg
you are brave.
love your blog.
xo
v
http://howtobeanorphan.blogspot.com/
I second the resume comment!!
If this isn't true love I don't know what is! but I feel left out why didn't you guys bbm conference me, I would have loved to join that conversation! (Not really) lmao! ESTAN LOCAS! This has made me laugh so hard I just sharted, y me entro la cagadera or cagalera...Krazziiess! lol!
Best blog everh!
well i havn't tried that sauce and not sure if i want to now , if i'm going to end up on the toilet ha ha. The post made me laugh i def dont want to un-follow, thanks for sharing ha ha!!
Beks: Believe me, Cholula is delicious. Planning a trip to England next year. If I go, I'm going to take you some. Promish.
Cholula is the bombizzle. But when we go out for pizza, I eat too much, and so we have to have a bathroom break between the restaurant and home. It never fails.
1. you can talk about diarrhea all you want 'cause you're super hot and pretty and therefore can safely get away with almost anything...Susane Boyle on the other hand... jk all women are beautiful =P
2. You say you're celibate, PLEASE don't make an entry when you have sex, how it felt like, or anything relating to someone getting the best of you. Why??? Because it will break my heart! =(
Oh no V! Didn't you know I'm eventually making a sex tape? LOL. It's the running joke of this blog my friend. ;)
Thanks for all the kind words. No worries, I won't blog about any "details", don't really think you guys care to know about that stuff.
Guess what? I found your blog on "Blogs of Note". Just finished reading from the beginning and I feel like we are old freinds now. I know more about you than I do my own sister. You are so talented and funny and I know you are going to make it big one day and I can say I "knew" you back when.
And thought I was the only one who texted her best while bombing a strangers bathroom.. awesome.
We should form a support group of some kind.. a network of shit texters..
Funny!
~Pavla
www.thedramaticcomedyofmylife.blogspot.com
Here we go.
We have reached a new bottom. I knew we'd see something like this soon enough.
this is so fuckin' great. I text and shit all the time. Also: cholula is the BEST. except for Frank's Red Hot.
I sometimes take pictures of my poop and text it to friends... should I blog up some pictures of my poop?
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
Joangel: Are you serious? OMG that is... wow :) I'm speechless. THANK YOU.
Pavla: www.shittytexters.com
Charles: A new bottom. LMAO Pun intended? What is Frank's Red Hot? And where can I get some. I love spicy stuff!!!!! No pictures of poop please. Unless they have smily faces :)
this def made me SHAT my pants lol
Haha no 22 and 18 isn't bad at all. It's bad that your parents think you're 13 and you're dating a 22 year old. Damn parents... (they really do think I'm 13. When they registered me at the fucking DMV -which you have to be SIXTEEN for- they asked me if I was 13..WOW). Haha anyways, if you want your stand-alone pages or tabs to go under your header, just go to the "Design" link and click on your pages section, and move it to where it says "Add gadget here". :D And since you have different pages listed on your blog, I'm sure you know how to make stand alone pages. Have fun! you're the best!
Oh my god. I text on the toilet all the time! Posts about shit don't bother me, I used to work as a nurse aide in a hospital. Just wait until I drop a few of my shit stories on my blog! Love your drawings!
Jess
Coming from someone who likes to call himself a cartoonist, your drawings do make me laugh, nicely done :)
LOL u always give me my seven laughs for the day...haha love u and ur shit.
http://justquay.blogspot.com
oh, and this post is prompting me to follow you!! i think i love you, lol!
Oh I'm in Scotland and I put that Cholula hot sauce on everything, I go through bottles of it, I can't eat food that doesn't burn.
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