This past Friday night I took the ninja liver out for a spin at a place called Blue Martini (per Britt's suggestion) and I feel it's my duty to warn the good people of Miami and beyond as to the sort of patrons this place welcomes. I'm not sure what the owners of said place were thinking when they came up with the name but it really should be called Blue Zombie because everyone in there looks like they've been beaten down by life with a spiked baseball bat and run over by a monster truck before putting on their best clothes and venturing into the nightlife world.
On the bright side, if you don't look like a supermodel, you can totally pick up in this place. Meaning, if you look like this...Inside the Blue Zombie, you really look like this.
So cheers! And if you ever do find yourself in Miami and stumble into the Blue Zombie aka Blue Martini, make sure you work that ninja liver lots prior to entering the nightlife apocalypse that is this haunted mad-house because those beer goggles are going to be necessary (trust).
Unrelated Sidenote Part I: I cleaned my house from top to bottom Sunday, and the day before that, and the day before that. When I got home tonight after yet another day of job hunting failure, I was greeted by this:
So after almost having a shit induced heart attack I put on my gloves and sweatpants and started scrubbing and killing the dirt with Clorox and Pinesol and two hours later my place looked normal again. I looked at the culprits with evil ninja eyes and was ready to unleash some major bitching and screaming fury when they gave me these looks:
I'm weak, guys. Meanwhile I find these little devils some good homes I shall be drowning in poop (and Clorox/Pinesol mix).
Unrelated Sidenote Part II: I posted a comment on a blog the same night before I went to the Blue Zombie and look at my captcha!
Sorry, Blogger. But I'm a live whore, not a dead one. You can't get rid of me that easily.
56 comments:
gah! your goggies are too cute. i hope they grow out of that poop-wherever-the-fuck-i-want-to phase soon. i bet you do, too. i have three cats, one who is 15 years old and has early stage kidney failure and thinks it's now okay to pee where he wants. like the past 15 years of peeing in a litterbox or outside has just vanished, he'll pee on the kitchen floor if he damn well pleases. :/
http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/
Ugh, the cat does this to me now and again ...
http://hempelsraven.blogspot.com/2010/06/really-really.html
I feel your pain ... er, poo.
Seriously!?! I don't know how you do it... I would have thrown up all over the place! Eeewww!
Threaten the doggies that you will send them to the Blue Martini if they ever get up to that nonsense again!
All I have to say is:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh, I am NOT laughing at the doodies, I am laughing at the "dedhor". That be some funny shit!!
Oh, and just so you know, I was reading a thread in the Coffeeshop forum, and saw where that asshat left that comment about kicking the dog in the elevator (to which you commented). Ugh, some people just deserve death for being cruel to animals....even if animals sometimes shit all over your newly cleaned place.
That dude and his bitch (in the forum) are assholes. I have already had words with them before. Nobody better be playing with me - I'll fuck 'em up - knowhatimsaying....
Tyrie: They are driving me BONKERS. And I have my three dogs in the apartment as well. Everyday I contemplate suicide.
Ranter's: *muah* That made me laugh.
Christy: Ay amiga.
Steph: Aren't they cute? Chokeable... but cute nonetheless. I'm hoping to find them awesome homes too. My dogs are about to kill me ... they can't stand the puppies. Jealous little brats.
i can't believe that your post's transition is just too perfect that made me laugh, especially the dedhor thing, lolz, keep it up and bring joy to others!
I? Totally got your sloppy seconds.
Also, that captcha is hilarious.
It's not the dogs you need to be worrying about. I'm pretty sure the internet just made a death threat AND insulted you. You can't escape the internet. It's everywhere.
They are soooo adorable! I can imagine why you're dogs would be jealous! Haha, this post seriously made me laugh out loud. Love your drawing of the blue people! Haha
Been there done that Girlo,
My sympathies on the clean up and the captcha is just to ........
*shaking my head and chuckling*
Got a new one for you to check out and I keep to my theme.
LMAO at that captcha! I think you are too funny, here's to getting famosity! I just blog to broadcast my domestic goddess-ness to others....or so that people will comment and I can feel like I am speaking to tall people who don't drool. (As opposed to the babies I live with.) Thanks for the intelligent adult interaction....LOL http://domesticengineer29.blogspot.com
oh whoops. that's alotta poopies
Ack, poopies. At least you have tile... because that would of been a *tad* bit messier and more traumatic if you had carpet!!! :O
Oh gosh. I would not have been able to clean that up. I have a feeling that's a reason I might never have kids...
I would like to clarify that blue zombie land, is sometimes affected by perhaps a full moon or something and it turns into a pretty hot and happening place. Having said that, that night was totally tragic though, and it made me not want to return there, at least not to this blue zombie land, they’re opening up another one in another location, we must check it out, hehe.
Those puppies = the cutest things EVAH. I would seriously consider coming to get them from you...if you hadn't advertised their all powerful crapping abilities on the internet. I'm still thinking about it though.
When I read the last part of this, I could only read "dedhor" with an Italian mobster accent. Perfect.
Meagoooo: I would HAVE DIED had they crapped like that all over the carpet. That would've been two days of cleaning, instead of two hours.
Caitlin: Trust me, nightmare. But they're so cute, they totally redeem themselves (for the most part).
Angie: Blue Zombie all the way. That place is a friggin' haunted house. NO NO NO MORE.
Margaret! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm so proud of you!
Holy hell, you need to feed those dogs some more roughage or something! How can such small dogs produce such a gigantic mess?
Holy shit, that's a lotta crap.
I think at that point I probably would've just burned the house down and started over.
There's just ... there's just so MUCH.
Ahyyyyy those blue zombie people scurrrrr!!!!! me
They look like Los Pitufos on Crack !!!!!
jajajajajaja LMAO
Annah I can't wait to find out each day what your latest adventure was and this one was a doozie. At least you know where not to go. They are the cutest pups. My little "Chi" still pees off the pad but not too often. You are similar to my daughter that has a black lab and rescued 3 pups along side of the road. I tried to convince her to find a home quickly but she didn't so now she has 4 large dogs to deal with along with her two older cats residing in a room upstairs. Hang in there girl and as always, great art work.
Cute puppies mean cute poo!
Who's cuter? The pups, or the Pitt? Tough call! I'll take Brad, but first he has to promise to poopy in the potty.
aren't vampires the undead?!
blogger clearly has another thing coming.
Sry my blog bites ;) p.s. My friends and I are seriously looking into getting a motor home. HAHA. Craigslist.org = Amazing
I rescued a pup who also thought it was cute to poop on the floor; (un)luckily, I also had a grown dog who thought it was cute to eat poop. Perhaps not the best cleaning strategy, but it worked for me.
Love the blog, Annah. Keep it up!
-Sabrina
http://crabbycommute.blogspot.com
Nice dogs. Btw, I've stuck your button on my site, come have a look if you want.
I second Steve G. What the hell are you feeding those puppies? How long were you gone???
Just discovered your blog. Hysterical. :)
Word verif. is totally some dude in a Starbucks trying to be clever.
Can you teach me how to draw in paint as well as you do? I'll trade you some quality time with my incredible DSLR! Pretty please?
I would have thrown up for sure if my house had looked like that, but those puppies sure are freaking adorable. I have a hard time getting mad at my devil-disguised-as-a-cat because he's so damn cute in the mornings when he purrs and gives me head-butts. I just look like an emo kid all the time because he beats the shit out of me.
TB: I was only gone for like 6 hours. It's insane the amount of poop those tiny little things can produce. And they're only two months!
Kendahl: I'll teach you booboo. Shoot me an email and we can do this thing. trust me, it's not that hard. It's just fun, and time consuming. That's the bad part.
Jolynna: Thank you!
Lacochran: Now I'm craving Starbucks! All your fault.
Searching for Significance: LOL it's okay. It made for a funny. And do you have ANY idea how many WONDERFUL posts you'll get out of your new adventures?!?! The possibilities are endless.
OMG those puppies are adorable!, you need a kiddie playpen that way you can leave them in there and they don't spread poop around. It is poop right? SO cute though, poop and all,
was every living thing on a shit parade this weekend?? holy poopapalooza! i do have a strong craving for chocolate now though??
The dogs crapped on the floor because Clean is the AntiChrist. No good can ever come from cleaning, I tell you.
Girlo, you must visit today and look at what you inspired. Hope you don't mind but had to do this after reading your post. And Hopefully it brings you one or two visits over here today.
Oh my. It's funny how we let animals shit in our homes, but if our loved ones did that we'd put them in a "special home."
LOL!!!! You go thru the craziest things. Thanks girl you've really inspired me into having a dog (NOT)...
Thanks for warning me about the Blue Martini. To date, I have *never* gone clubbing in Miami, and it's one of the first clubs that pops to mind because of all the radio commercials.
-French Bean
For human babies, someone makes Pampers. For ancient humans like me someone makes Depends. For your pups someone should make Doggie Diapers.
SumSum: I was thinking about you yesterday. Don't ask why, 'cuz I dunno.
Don: They make those. They are the messiest thing EVER!
Bean: Good! DO NOT GO.
Angie: Tell me about it. Hence why I'm single. Ha!
Yaimy: No! Give them a try love. THey're amazing. It's just that when you have three puppies under one roof. NOT EASY
Amy: Cleaning is the ONE thing that I despise. Of course, it's my mother's favorite thing to do.
Ha ha ha!! Ayi amiga I would've killed those animals!!!
How could you even get slightly upset at those two cutie-pies!? When my dog went diarrhea all over my car, I could barely be mad because she was a puppy and so adorable.
If she did it now, I'd sell her to the highest bidder in China.
dedhor HAHAH That's my favourite. What are the odds that of all the stupid nonsense word verification words you'd get "dedhor"!?
PS I LOVE YOU PUPPIES! THEY ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY CUTE! Beats my Satanic Maltese and bloated, toothless toy Poodle any day! Wanna trade? lol
Your fur babies are sooo cute kiddo. No one could stay mad at them for very long.
Annah! I used to resuce. The brown pup needs dewormed. That prolly means the other two do to. Here what you do. Weigh them, then go to the local vet to feed store and get worm pills.
Give them the pillls ONLY WHEN YOU CAN LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE FOR AN EXTEDED PERIOD OF TIME. LIKE, AT LEAST A FEW HOURS. Borrow a friend's fenced in yard if you must. DO NOT LET THEM BACK IN TILL THEY SHIT. Then you can house break them. Good luck, you rokk.
dedhor!!! ha ha...thats awesome!
Woah, That's a lot of Poop, and Trust me, I've seen Plenty of that stuff in My days. But with faces like those, what can you do??? It's amazing how Booze can turn a will Farell Into Brad Pitt:D..
Follow??? http://clydesayssit.blogspot.com/
LOL. All your pics are awesome.
We won't do it again, we promise. LMAO.
Alyx: I've been giving them TONS of meds from the vet to get better. It's horrible because I think now one of my doggies got the worms too. :( Blegh!
Melicious: That's what I thought. Ha!
Clyde: No fun in scooping up and scrubbing. Trust me it's a friggin' nightmare. I cannot WAIT for them to find homes.
Sadako :) Thank you hunny bunny.
Minoccio: They know EXACTLY what they're doing!
What breed are those precious things? I am driving to Florida in Sept and I have been looking to adopt some pupppiiesss around that time when I move in a new apartment that allows pets (not sure what I was thinking moving into the one i have now)!! I know that is kind of a long time but .....maybeeeee =) think about it...ehhh ....ehhh
dear dedhor,
I will give you one fantastic siamese cat, approximately five years old, for your puppies. If you accept, I will also give you.... all the old magazines out of my magazine rack... some of the pages are stuck together but it's still good reading.
let me know
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
Charles: I don't know about the cat, but those magazines sure do sound enticing.
Vanessa: They are gone in one week hopefully. They've already been advertised on the paper and I'm praying for good homes :) 6 dogs under one two bedroom apartment is a travesty. And I'm going bald. Balder than what I already am.
OH EM GEE, those puppier are the cutest everrr!!! You should train them to be ninjas, no one would suspect a thing >D
Post a Comment