You know how sometimes you're on Facebook and someone friend requests you but you have no idea who they are but you still add them because they're attractive or you're just an attention whore trying to get more readers on your blog so you can become famous and not have to make a sex tape with Ricky Martin against his will? Awesome.A few months back this guy requested me and I agreed to be "Friends" even though I had no clue as to his identity and after I hit "approve" I immediately forgot who he was and then I moved on with the rest of my mad existence. Some weeks later my little notifications' icon informed me that this dude had responded to some questions about me in a quiz and I was all curious to know how he answered because really who-the-fuck-was-this-person?
How would he know ANYTHING about me. So here's the quiz and how he fared in answering.
Then I thought it would be cute if I went on dude's page and left him a comment so all his friends could see that I existed and come to my blog and cyber stalk me eventually propelling me into inevitable famosity (not a word but soon to be).
And so I posted my comment and got back to life when I received this little gem in my inbox a few hours later.
You can't really appreciate the magnitute of my masterpiece in that email so here's the real deal.
I waited patiently for an invite to an official duel but she never replied, guys. And here I was getting all excited meanwhile filing my ninja sword.
68 comments:
And to think, I delete those random friend requests! I didn't know what I've been missing!
Annah Banana, I fucking love you.
Ever notice how not dating a douche makes a girl so much less likely to threaten other women? :-D
Amber :) I LOVE YOU hunny buns :)
Are you kidding me? You're missing all the fun buddy!
Goddamn ridiculous. I love it.
You are effing CRAZY!! I love it!! LMAO!!
That's freaking hilarious!!! what a psycho!!!
LOL! Um, how come all the weirdos on FB can't spell or use grammar for shit? What's up with that?? They should honestly spend less time freaking about their men being poached and more time figuring out how to spell the word "you" with more than one vowel.
If she challenged you I would totally be your Ninja Second (I've got nunchucks and everything!)
Phoenix? You've got num chucks! Damn girl you're on a higher ninja level then I am. Let's do this!
Dakotah: I tell ya'...
Chris and Jeannie: I don't know who's crazier but being a ninja I'd probably still get my ass kicked, seeing that I've never physically fought anyone before, except a cat with rabies but that's another story.
I really need to stop ignoring those friend requests. You just can't buy good blog material like this!
OMG- I love the crazies! Sometimes when I'm bored I try to start shit so the crazies come to me. I'm not so much into going to them...friendship should be 50/50.
I love random friend requests- and if I don't know who they are, I usually write horribly dirty things on their FB to see how long before they unfriend me. It's like a sport. I'm hoping to make it into the Olympics for it.
Um...why are we not FB friends?!
OH.EM.GEE. you're a gem bwahahaha!love the artwork :D :P
Jajajajajajaj LMAO
That crazy ass better watch out -
She gonna get gutted by the magical-very sharp-invisible-ninja sword!!!!! HAHAHAH
Hell she was scared of you - Id be too
Psycho bitch- " Dont talk to my men he dont like you"
Annah- Who the fuck is your man and who the fuck are you? Dont fuck with me bitch, ill degutt your insides inside out and ill even show you how i will do it!!!!!!
Psycho bitch- (Thinks to herself)Oh hell no
for defending this mother fucker I almost got myself killed - gutted - i aint fucking with this crazy bitch -=0( - "whaaaaa pees in her pants "!!!! hahahahahahahah
So who the heck is the guy anyway ?
LOve you babe youre nuts !!!!
HAHA! that is amazing. and facebook is such a drama starter/jealousy maker! So ridiculous!
LMAO I have this weird one who comments on all of my statuses and takes them literally. For example -
Status: "Trouble is my middle name but in the end I'm not too bad"
Comment: No Nikki, you're not a bad person at all.
Um a) ITS A SONG and b) YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I could kick puppies for all this troll knows.
Dude, I love that picture. If I weren't so afraid of getting locked up in the bouncy room (again) I'd post it as my background.
That's friggin' hilarious. If you're still disappointed about missing that duel, I could sign up for facebook and get a threatening girlfriend and you could fight over me.
Sweta: Thank you! :) Thank you thank you! *muah*
Honna: I'm telling you I never knew who the dude was. I mean, no lie he was kinda cute. But after that it was, DELETE!
NikkiJo: That is a little weird.
Kendahl! DO IT! DO IT! hahhaa I'm such a trouble maker.
Legacy: I'm sure I'll have other opportunities for a duel. I just hope it involves guns that shoot vodka. That'd be the bestest of the bestest. Cheers!
Do the right thing Annah. Find out where that retard lives and glue thumbtacks to her windshield wipers.
Or I'll fly down there and we can wear ninja suits and then we'll glue a thumbtack to her wall, then glue a shotgun shell to the door so that when she opens the door and the thumbtack hits the shell...
We just have to make sure we don't leave any fingerprints, body hair, or semen at the scene. The first two are the easiest for me to keep under control.
OOOhhh honey...that bissshh has no idea who she was messing with! You should've also sent her the pic of you holding the knife...or you could've let me at her (though don't know how helpful I could be.. I've never had an actual physical altercation with anyone)but now with my shewolf powers given by you I think I got ur back...LMAO!!!!!!
And obviously he's not into her either...if he has time to answer a quiz about you...hehe..
btw, what's his name so I can send him a friend request...he is kinda cute and she don't scuuurrre me..jk ;)
Hahhahaha Britt! You crazy bish! I deleted him. His name was John something. Don't remember now. I think it was John Berkins or some shit like that.
Mr. Condescending: Semen and ninja powers are dangerous combinations to possess. Instead of throwing stars you'll shoot semen at her. OMG that's horrible!
Annah, you are a vodka genius. A client's kid left a top-of-the-line water pistol behind; now I have a use for it.
Damn Leggy Weggy I think I just found party favors for my next bbq. That is AWESOME!!!!
OMG.. this is great! Looks like someone is keeping secrets from Miss Thang! LOL!
Those crazy friend requests on FB don't stop when you get older either. In fact I think they increase!
You know he's probably 12 or something...
I love the intestines in the picture. It really expresses your angst at being harassed by an annoying GF person.
Holy shit... you scare me! LOL! I'm totally borrowing your line tho - next person that fucks with me is getting degutted!
Holy shit, that's awesome.
Hahaha...freaking hilarious! loved it!
Found your blog on 20sb =] Just wanted to say that I have a friend in a band called Red Means Go! Weird!!
I agree with Amber, I fucking love you.
Can you IMAGINE that bitch's face and reaction when she saw that picture you sent her?? LMFAO, la asustastes pal carajo, she's probably taking a shit right now!! LOLOL "You're a freaky weird bitch"! LOLOLOLOL
hahahahahhaahha!! LOVE IT!
Dude if I would've known everyone loves my crazy posts so much I would've brought out the ninja more often. Thanks so much you guys :) Ghetto is scary, but de-gutting crazy ninja is apparently a lot scarier.
Annah thank you for providing me with the opportunity to share this pet peeve:
I despise when chics say "my man" like that. It is so....so...ugh.
So...pathetic!
Hellooo? "My" man? How about "my" identity? as in, do you have one separate from being some douches current girlfriend/chic he is actively cheating on or trying to cheat on. Because no good ever came of a relationship wherein the guy is referred to as "my man" or "your man".
Just, lame. and sooooo tired.
Whew. I feel better now.
::dying::
Seriously, that is hilarious. I think the picture just confused the hell out of her.
I always check "Mutual Friends" if I don't know the person. If that checks out I usually accept, but if not HELL NO!
Funny picture! She didn't expect that did she?
On the friend thing, my teenage daughter and a couple of her friends created a fictitious facebook page with a random photo and random demographic info. They sent friend invites to their own friends and some random people. In the first day, they got about 50 positive responses (including a couple of the random strangers) and only a few rejections. Of the positives, only two asked (on someone's wall) who the person was, and accepted when someone said, "Oh, [my daughter] knows her so she must be ok."
This is among the reasons I don't have a facebook.
Great stuff, love the pic.
Oh my god, that was the best thing I read all night, and the actual intestines was the absolute cherry.
i would suggest while degutting her you make her watch hooked on phonics...juss cuz she not b so good with all dem der words.
Alyx: She's just an insecure hoodrat.
Mrs. S: I was just having fun, I really wish she would've replied and then I would've had more blog fodder. But I guess this was good enough.
Leggy Weggy: Facebook is fun!
Penny: Thank you. I seriously think it's time for drawing classes though for me.
SumSum: Dem der words. Bahhaha. I'll take that into consideration. That's some cruel torture though.
Aaaaand that was hysterical. Since I don't have facebook I never usually read facebook-oriented blog entries, but shit...glad I did. I hope that bitch challenges you and gets the ill ninja stars.
That entry gets a follow. Fucking great.
That was amazing!
I wish I got something like that from the random people who had me, the best thing I've ever got is an invitation to have sex...from a girl
Danaconda: THANK YOU! :) You have no idea how happy all this makes me.
Kai: FROM A GIRL?!?!? Woah... you're having more fun than I am on Facebook.
Annah great blog, so funny. Amber thanks soo much for sending me here. I'm disappointed the crazy facebook chick gave up so easily, now I want to send her bf messages! Ohh did that come out a bit crazy stalker?
Annah - Well I AM a first degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and I'm currently studying Escrima (Filipino sword and knife-fighting) So yeah, if anyone messes with you... send 'em MY way. Hah!
Phoenix: I think you and I are going to be great friends :) You are a REAL ninja. I likie.
Mrs. Midnight: Hell no. I wish I hadn't deleted him. We could've stalked him together and had some fun. He was cute too! Not even gonna lie.
Hahaha. Maybe I should start accepting the random friend requests I get. It might get me into a virtual ninja fight, or a message from a crazy jealous chick.
haha omg what a douche with a psychopath girlfriend! I love how you responded with your little cartoon! Priceless!
Lol seriously? This actually happened? Really?
This is kind of why I abandoned facebook but it kind of makes me want to go back.
I applaud you and your sense of humor. Also, I would totally make you some brownies. Brownies are delicious.
Caitlin: Do it! It'll start up all sorts of drama and fun too!
JoJo: Girl there's lots of ghetto girls here in Miami. It's tragic
Sono: Yes ma'am. This is for real! And you do?!?! Don't play with my stomach's feelings like that!
Oh god, this is amazing on like 12 different levels.
You can send me degutted ninja pics of crazy people anytime. and in return I will send brownies. Deal?
YES!!!!! Send me :)
you're a fucking ninja warrior psycho princess she wolf motherfucking space odyssey with the fucking motherload of nuclear chemical warfare and napalm weapons.
who's the dumb ass bitch messing with you? you go ahead and get down girl. yeah, that's right. holla back yo.
Haha how funny and random, that girl sounds a little crazy getting jealous over nothing!
love it, that is hilarious
thanks for your fab comment on my pics!
Ahahaha that is tooo funny!!
Following you now!
xo
lacey
Thank you :) To all you guys. YOU ARE FABULOUS
I hate when people gut me, too. I don't mind as much if they are wearing cute polka dotted dresses, though.
You are amazing. I also ADORE your artwork.
LmAO..! this is hilarous..! LOve You..!
Ahaha you should've wrote "PWNED" all over her fucking face. What a self-obsessed bitch. I thought your comment was quite innocent :) if anything her bf is the stalker.
omfg you rock my life.
This is fantastic! When I got to the ninja part, I totally lost it.
-Lindsay
http://noomoreblogs.blogspot.com
OMG. I'm married (happily) and too old for you and I don't REALLY know you at all but just dig these most excellent posts of yours and I think I live somewhere far away from where you live, BUT I think I love you. Let me check.
[*looks at watch to make sure enough time has elapsed to make the next comment funny*]
Yes, I love you (in a living far away too old for you happily married kind of way.)
LMAO This is AWESOME!
This is so fucking awesome!
LOL! Great post!
Post a Comment